Sunday, August 29, 2010

Special Day

I have two exciting things happening today! First, I entered a contest for a free session with Erica Mowell Photography.....and won!!! I am so excited to have family portraits made. She posted on Facebook that she was doing a contest for a free session, just write an e-mail and tell why you think you deserve the session. So I wrote, but I don't really feel like we deserve anything. God put us where we are in our lives because he knew we could handle it, we might not think so at times but he knows so. Since Raef was born he is not very cooperative with the picture taking thing, he is not the happiest baby I have ever been around, but Olivia wasn't either so I know there is an end to it. Several months ago I wasn't sure we would ever have a family picture that included Raef, and I just can't wait to see the pictures of my complete little family!!! Go check out Erica's work she is!

Secondly, today is our two year anniversary! Its is so hard to believe it has been two years. I never thought we would be where we are now that's for sure!! With that said, I also could not begin to fathom going through this with any one other than Scott. He is the most awesome man I have ever met, he keeps me sane the majority of the time. He knows that I get a little high strung when I am stressed and is very aware that he is always the one I take it out on. He takes it, maybe not always with a smile on his face, but he never says much back, he just lets me get it out. :) I hate that he is the one that it gets let out on...he is just as stressed as I am. So going into out third year of marriage I am gonna try to change that !; ) (Scotty when you read this, don't always hold me to it!) From the moment Scott came to the video store and I suggested a JaRule movie for him, haha , I knew there was something special about him. We took a bittersweet 2 year detour along the way so that Miss Olivia could make her grand entrance to the world, but I wouldn't change it. That has made us the stronger couple and family that we are today. I would not change one thing about our family, we are so blessed and happy! Bring on 100 more years, I can't wait! I love you Scotty thank you so much for being the man that you are to me and our children!!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Poem from a Friend

I wanted to share this poem that my friend Suha has posted on her blog. I met Suha when I was pregnant with Raef, she was pregnant with her sweet little girl Nadia Miriam. Our social worker from Vandy was giving Scott and I a tour of the hospital and Suha and her husband Tommy were also taking the tour. We didn't talk much through the tour we cried a lot and had no idea we were both going through the exact same thing. Towards the end Suha asked me what was wrong with our baby so instead of saying the medical term for it I just went ahead and gave the explanation because everyone asks what is that? So as I was starting to explain she said Hypoplastic Right Heart?? I was like YES and she told me that her daughter has the exact same thing! I know I shouldn't be excited because of this, but it felt so good to have someone understand you completely. I asked for her phone number and email, I chickened out on calling I just didn't know what to say!! I knew that her baby was also due in May so once we were in the hospital I asked our Social worker if they were there and how they were doing. She told me that she couldn't tell me anything because of hippa, but that she would talk to them and see if it was ok to get us back in touch. Of course it was, and we visited each other a few times in the hospital. We now talk every couple days on the phone or through emails and I have been so blessed to have her to compare notes with! God works in such great ways!! She has become one of my very best friends even though she lives 5 hours away!! Her little girl is doing amazing! It is so awesome how these tiny babies are so tough!! So here is the poem she has on her site I warn you, you will cry!!

It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you". He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a visit. He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work". But the little angel is still a little scared. He asks,"Will I be okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies,"Of course you will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine." Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says "When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart". "Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday." "And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves."

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I will find the time!!

Well it has been forever since I have posted anything. I am awful at this stuff...ask my friends, I don't even text back half the time. All things are going well right now, we are still off the tube we thought we were gonna have to put it back in, but so far so good. Raef lost about 5ozs when we first took it out but he has gained all of that back now and doing really good with his feeds. I know it is still a possibility it would have to go back in but as long as he is gaining it is out! We went to the cardiologist on Thursday and his heart looks really good the pressure in his lungs is starting to drop so that is good news! Dr. Madhok says surgery will be in November. It's kind of weird I wish we could just go now and do it, but I really never want to go back there again!! I guess we will just wait three more months and let him grow and be a happy baby! He is starting to smile all the time now and loves to be tickled, he makes some cooing noises, but he is really hoarse sounding when he does. When we go back to the doctor I am gonna ask about it, he has had so many things put down his throat it worries me!

So last week was a week I have dreaded for many years! My Olivia started kindergarten!!! It is so hard to believe that she is 5 1/2, She is so smart and so excited about school! She has made a new friend already, Julie. I apparently embarrassed her, I put a note in her lunch box that said 'I love you' and when she got home she asked me not to do it again!!:( I hate that she is so big she thinks she doesn't need me anymore, I wish I could go back to when she was Raef's age. I would have done things so differently, I took advantage of having a healthy baby and didn't soak it all up with her. But she is a fantastic little girl and is such a help to me she keeps me sane a lot of the time, I am so blessed to have her! The way she came to me was such a whirlwind and and I was very young, but in so many ways that princess has saved me. Made me realize how important life is jobs, money,and houses do not mean anything without your family! She is one of the luckiest girls I know. I have been so blessed to find a husband that loves her and takes care of her as his own.
For now that's all I have...hopefully more good news soon!